Saturday, March 28, 2009

One sad blog...

I originally wanted this to be happy blog. I wanted to put pictures of my little munchy up here for everyone to see and coo over and pictures that I took of miscellaneous things that will eventually contribute to my portfolio. But then I decide that this is MY blog. MY blog to get things out and to let people know who I am and what my life is like more than anything. So, with that said, hopefully this is the only sad blog I will have to post...EVER.

As most of my close family knows I just recently found out I was pregnant, again. I know, BIG surprise to us, but unfortunately we only got a few short hours to celebrate before I began the process of a miscarriage.

 THIS was my little tadpole:

I believe that life begins at the point of conception. Therefore even though my little tadpoles heart was in the process of beginning to beat for the first time, to me it was still the loss of a child.

With all that said, I am doing okay and this IS NOT for sympathy.  My brain is controlled by logic (thanks mom and dad) and not emotion. I KNOW that God has a reason for everything that he does. I have had great help and support and a very wise woman told me "God will only give you what he believes that you can handle, and even though it doesn't make it any easier, maybe this was Gods way of protecting you." She was right. All research that I have done tells me that the reason for first trimester loss's is due to chromosomal abnormalities. God was protecting me! and knowing that makes me know that God is looking out for Aaron and I. and with that being known, it makes all this a whole lot easier.

My heart goes out to everyone who has ever had to deal with the loss of a child, whether at 5 weeks pregnant, childbirth, or at the age of 18, but know that whatever the reason, God is looking after you and it is part of his ultimate plan! 


Photo Freak said...

Im sorry, I know you werent looking for sypathy but I believe like you and it was a life and we are sorry that you never got to know it. Bless you and we love you!

Jessica Ann said...

kayla i just want to tell you you are probably the strongest person i know and i will ever know! and you and your wise woman are right god is protecting you and looking out for you!